What is Sleep?

There is something called 'sleep' that people speak of. I wouldn't know what that is. For the last nine months I've been hearing it gets better.. When my son was born people said soon he would sleep through the night. That never fucking happened. He was 3 months old. "Soon" I was told. Bullshit. He was sick months old. "Don't worry, he will be sleeping through the night anytime now!" I am beginning to not believe you. He is now 9 months old. "He should be sleeping through the night already." Gee, thanks for those words of wisdom.  Super helpful. Please read the damn sarcasm here. I've been walking around like a friggin zombie here. What day is it, Monday? It's Wednesday. When did that happen? Mom's hear so 'wonderful 'advice they would never think of in a million years. Like this lovely gem: "have you tried reading to him?" Nah, reading would never occur to me. Babies don't like stories they like to be shaken vigorously until they shut up.(Please note the sarcasm again here. Know what? Just apply a sarcasm font to anything that goes against common fucking sense.) How stupid do they think you are? Like we haven't tried this? "Have you tried singing to him?" No, I just bash him in the head with a frying pan and call it good. 🙄 Supposedly intentions are good, but what the hell? Who asks someone if they tried singing to a baby like it is some radical new concept? As for the baby, love him, but I now understand why some animals eat their young.